Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Ketchup

Don’t worry, I’m not actually going to talk about ketchup, or catsup (like my dad says).  I just figured that since I fell off the blogging planet for the last nine months that maybe I should say a little something about where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing.  Not having a baby, thank goodness, but a few other things that involve late nights worrying, crying, and flying by the seat of my pants hoping that everything will turn out okay.

Grieving. I’ve written quite a few posts about this topic, but none of them have made it to the Publish button because I’m not entirely sure what I have to say. Even now, I’ve deleted a dozen sentences with stupid metaphors because Tom’s passing is still utterly unexplainable. Every day, sometimes hundreds or thousands of times I struggle with the question How can he be gone? I just don’t know.

I quit my old job and started my own business.  Way back last December, I passed my Certified Personal Trainer test – yay me! – and set about looking for a job to put it to use.  My old job was in the fitness industry but didn’t require certification and paid only slightly more than peanuts, so a new job was a must-do.  I applied for and was offered two different trainer positions, but realized that I didn’t want to be touting a diet plan I wouldn’t follow myself or scrambling to meet sales quotas that put a lot of money in other people’s pockets.  It had always been in the back of my mind to be in business for myself, so I decided that I might as well jump in with both feet and thus, Pahla B Personal Training was born!  The learning curve has been ridiculously steep, but totally and completely worth it.  This is pretty much my dream job, even including all the parts that kind of suck, like bookkeeping.

Injury rehab.  On the one hand, I’m super glad that the injury in question isn’t mine, but lemme tell you - living with UltraIronHubs while he rehabs a terrible, awful, no-good case of plantar fasciitis is no picnic.  This is UIH’s first real injury, and basically the first time in almost seven years that he’s been benched from running.  Do you remember the first time you had to stop running to deal with an injury?  The crabbiness, the bitter jealousy of the spouse who is still able-bodied, the constant fear of losing your fitness?  It’s not good, and it’s not any easier being on this side of the equation, watching him get through it and not being able to do anything.  PF is a nasty injury, too.  Maybe rest helps, maybe it doesn’t.  Maybe strengthening exercises help, maybe they don’t.  Maybe that crazy nighttime velcro sock is helping, maybe it’s just keeping us both awake with the annoying scratching at the sheets sounds.

Running, racing and training for an ultra.  Yes, I am still running!  It’s arguably the only thing that’s kept me sane (-ish) these last few months.  I’ve slowed down a lot lately and I’ve decided to be okay with that.  I did my time chasing PRs and I think now I want to concentrate on different challenges, longer distances and just enjoying the run.  I’ve got my eyes on both a 50K and a 50-miler by the end of this year and I’m also thinking about fitting in another trail race or two.

So.  What’s new with you?

7 comments:

CautiouslyAudacious said...

Keep running! Congrats on starting your own business, stay the course and be patient it will pay off!

misszippy said...

Welcome back! I'm sorry it has been such a tough road with the tragedy of Tom's death.

Congrats on the new business--that takes courage, for sure! Wishing you big success!

ajh said...

Good luck to your husband getting over that. Different things seem to work for different people.

Nice job on your won business.

Char said...

Well done on starting your own business. It's a tough road at times but it's so worthwhile.

I'm so sorry that it's been so tough since Tom's death. Events like that rock the whole foundation of your world. I hope you find some peace from something that makes no sense.

Heather said...

Congrats on the business! My sister is trying to get me to do an ultra with her - I'm sure I'll agree sooner or later!

K said...

Wow you have had a lot going on. Congrats on the new certification and business! I might be looking for a trainer in the next couple of months.. :)

ratherthecouch said...

I've been wondering where you were. Glad you're back! That's so exciting that you started your own business and that you're loving it! What a huge accomplishment!